N-fans: Special Logs
#2: Day of Sorrow…Day of Tears
September 11, 2001
“Gyah!” ~pant, pant~ Wha…was that a dream that woke me up?
…No…it wasn’t a dream. And yet…why do I have this strong feeling that something big is going to happen today? Something that will affect all of us forever…
Something…terrible…is going to happen today…
God…whatever happens…please let my family and those I care about most be all right.
Eh? Who said that?
O_O …God? Is that…you?
Beware what? Please tell me!
“Lisa? Are you okay?”
“Huh?” Oh! It’s just Webster. “Oh…yes, I’m fine.” I’ll be fine…just as long as I focus long enough to cook your eggs properly…
“You sure?” N-finity asks worriedly. “I mean, you seemed to be distressed for a moment.”
“Really, I’m fine.” J “I’m just a little tired this morning, that’s all.”
“Okay…if you say so…” Note to self—try and keep visible signs of mental conversations from showing. “Here ya go, Web! Nicely scrambled eggs!”
No bottom in my stomach…little appetite, too. I’m stressed…yet I was just cooking everyone’s breakfast as usual. My hackles are up, and my mind just went on Yellow Alert. What on earth—
“Lisa? Are you feeling okay?”
“…I’m not so sure anymore, Ran…” Everyone seems pretty concerned about me, now that I think about it.
“What’s wrong?” Neil asks me.
Might as well tell them… “I have no idea what’s wrong with me! My mental alarms are all going off, my body’s all tense and paranoid, and I keep getting this feeling that something big is supposed to happen any minute now!” ~gasp~
No one’s talking…I guess I did kinda surprise them a bit with the volume of my voice. ^^;
Deep breath, girl… “I’m psychic—well, somewhat. It runs in my mom’s family. I can get feelings about certain events, and I can detect some kind of spiritual and magical powers—IF they’re powerful enough for me to sense. But…I never had this happen to me before. I think…I think it’s a warning of sorts.”
Neil’s got that thoughtful frown… “Lisa, do you have any idea where it might happen?”
“…It’s not here in VideoLand…I think it might happen on Earth—“ O_O Red alert…the hair on the nape of my neck’s standing up… Time—8:48AM. “Neil…turn on the TV.”
“But I still need to fix—“
It’s being turned on—to CNN.
“This just in—an airplane is reported to have crashed into the World Trade Center North Tower!”
…They’re gone…the Twin Towers are gone…and all those people trapped inside… And all because two planes full of people crashed into them without warning…
…The Pentagon’s been hit by a third plane… Everyone around D.C. has been evacuated…
All those souls…all those lost souls… Oh, god…
A wet spot on my dress…then another… Are these tears mine? I can hardly feel them running down my cheeks…
“Lisa…” Neil…he’s crying, too… His heart is wounded…like mine…
“Neil…I…” His hands are warm…soft…real… He won’t disappear within the next few moments. He won’t vanish into thin air. My love is here…with me…holding me in his gentle arms… “I wanna go hooooooome…” ~sob~
“I know…” My love whispers as he rocks me back and forth…we’re both still sitting on the floor… “I want to go home and check on my family, too…”
“It’s awful…it’s so awful! All those people…all those lost souls—“ I’m choking on another sob. I’ve never felt this upset since Grandpa passes away. No…I wasn’t even this upset then… “Oh, Neil…”
“Shhhhhh…” I can almost feel Neil’s pain…
…How long have we been crying and talking here on the hallway floor? Four hours? It doesn’t seem like that…though I do feel a lot better now…
Er… ~blush~ “…I guess I should make dinner then,” I sheepishly tell Neil.
“Yeah…” His smile’s so sweet…bittersweet, actually. His lips brush mine. “C’mon, I’ll help out tonight.”
“Thank you…” He may have a point: I may be still a little shocked to properly cook our meal. Meal…I guess I didn’t eat much of lunch today…not sure if I really had any lunch at all…my mind’s all a blur as to what happened after that first news report…
…I wonder how everyone else is holding up…
OO;;; What the…Z-chan?
She’s…she’s tearing her room apart!! Man, I’ve never seen such anger in her before! And her swearing!! It’s enough to make a sailor blush! I know I’m turning beet red from it!
…She’s done…she’s kneeling…and she’s starting to sob.
“Z-chan?” My voice is quiet as I open her door all the way.
“I can’t believe they did that! Those…those…”
“I know…” My arms gently hold her, and the tears I thought had stopped starts flowing again. “We’re still here, Zero. We still got each other…”
That’s right, Zero…there’s no shame in crying…
We’re all in shock…
All of us are in grief…all of us are in disbelief… It’s so apparent on our faces…so obvious in our body language. Web and Phoenix are cuddled together, comforting each other non-vocally. Dynamo, Pineapple, and Bass are talking with Zero. Mike and Red are silent, but that alone says it all for them.
…wait…Ran didn’t show up for dinner…and he’s not here now.
“I’ll be right back,” I quietly tell Neil. “I need to check up on Ran.”
Neil nods mutely. I guess he’s too upset—or too lost in thought—to deal with this.
…where is he? He’s not in his room. He’s not in any of the other general rooms…
“Ran! Ran, where are you?” Hmmmm…no reply…
“Has anyone seen Ran before dinner?” I ask as I enter the living room again.
All of them shake their heads.
“Why you looking for Ran-chan?” Phoenix asks.
“Well…he never came down for dinner, and I can’t find him anywhere in the house.”
“…Try the pool,” Webster suggested. “Maybe he ran went there to cry.”
“…I never thought of that. Thanks, Web.”
Webster was right! I found Ran all right—sobbing his little heart out! Poor thing…
“Wha—“ He looks up. “Oh…it’s you…” Man, he’s been crying for quite a while.
“Ran, it’s getting close to 9. We had dinner about an hour ago. Aren’t you hungry?”
“…How can I think of food when so many innocent lives died today?! Huh? How can any of us think about eating when so many families have lost loved ones?!?”
Whoah! I expected this from Zero, or even Pineapple, but Ran? “…Ran…I…listen.” I sit down next to him. “I know this must be very tough for you, but…we have to try and live on. Those same families are hurting badly, but even this early, they are trying to at least get on with the more basic stuff of their lives…just like we did when we first lost Chris.”
The tears well up in the little guy’s eyes. “Oh, Lisa!!!”
“Shhhhhhh…there, there….there, there…I’m here…”
We’ll get thru this…I dunno how, but…somehow…we’ll pull thru this…together…